Friday, 25 June 2010

BY BOSOM OF LOVE DOTH CUP OVERFLOW

So much of what we know of love we learn at home, and it is always a joy to return, as regularly as I can, to visit ‘The Olds’ as we affectionately refer to them.

This weekend, I decided to make a flying visit up to Yorkshire from London, to surprise she who is my rock, my foundation, my dear beloved Mum. A lovely Sunday Roast in a sweet old hotel in the heart of this pretty, historic town of Beverley has just been had; Mum, dear Dad and Auntie Gnome all happily sated, and I thankful for such blissful blessing. It is one I do not take lightly, for not only is it so rich as the treasure beyond price, I know that I am fortunate where others are not; their Mother taken from them too soon, or perhaps never there at all.

My Mum is not well, plagued by various serious conditions that see she is often in hospital, giving us sometimes much fear and sadness in our worry. But, like many Mothers, she bounces back, battles on, and remains as stoic as ever. Then only last week she fell over and hurt her leg. Mum ignored it for a week, as Mum would. Of course, Mum hates being a bother. Eventually persuaded to have it checked out, turns out she’d fractured it!

It reminds me of the time when my maternal grandmother, a bossy and utterly wonderful matriarch scolded us grandchildren for playing too boisterously in the cobbled courtyard of their rambling Rectory in Northumberland one winter’s morn. A little while later, Grannie entered the kitchen, and my Mother noticed she kept gently rubbing her arm.

“What is wrong, Mum?” my Mother asked.

“Stop fussing Bridget!” came the reply. “I’ll deal with it later.”

Eventually, my Mother persuaded Grannie to show her the arm. It was broken, the bone sticking out.

“You need to go to hospital!” My Mother said.

“Really Bridget, stop fussing. It’ll be fine.” came the reply, Grannie reaching to put more pots on the stove. “Besides, hospital is quite out of the question; we have fourteen people to dinner this evening!”

Not the reply of some lady going senile I must add. Far from it. Grannie was as sharp as ever and still enjoyed a hike up the hill to the castle ruins prior to breakfast. No, Grannie simply never came first, not in her book. Hers was a life dedicated to others. And this is, in general, what mothers do.

Someone once said a mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. This is so true.

You’ll know how much I adore quotes. They serve as my sword, my shield and my comfort blanket, and if anyone in our lives deserve quotes dedicated to them, surely it is our mothers.

So I leave you here with a few, in praise of all those mothers past, those with us now and those yet to be. Some days of celebration are indeed special, and Mothering Sunday is one of them.


My Mother is a never-ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.Graycie Harmon

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. Honore de Balzac

If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam. Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavour by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. Washington Irving

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. Spanish Proverb

Women are aristocrats, and it is always the mother who makes us feel that we belong to the better sort. John Lancaster Spalding

The sweetest sounds to mortals given
Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.
William Goldsmith Brown

Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. Erich Fromm

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. William Makepeace Thackeray

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all. Oliver Wendell Holmes

Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends – but only one mother in the whole world. Kate Douglas Wiggin

No painter’s brush, nor poet’s pen
In justice to her fame
Has ever reached half high enough
To write a mother’s name.

Author Unknown


(first published March 14th 2010)

EASTERN PROMISE OF THE MAN

It has been said that the further backwards you look, the further forwards you can see. Certainly, the history of humankind holds for us many answers for today’s world, and with this in mind, here is the first of one of my occasional pieces on this matter.

Let me take you to an ancient land as real as it is legendary; famed for its magnificent palaces and a glittering wealth beyond imagination, two-thousand years ago this vast and powerful empire stretched from Europe to the Middle East. Great kings were creating breathtaking cities such as Persepolis and Pasargadae. They were also, in the case of Cyrus, responsible for what was perhaps the first ever Human Rights Charter.

Today, like those cities where such ideas were born, it all lies in ruins. Today, this Kingdom of Persia, now named Iran, is a very different place.

Around 540.B.C., Cyrus entered Babylon. Though he had a mighty army at his disposal, his arrival was not by force, for he believed this bountiful land had been delivered to him by God, and he had no desire to bring terror to a place that he saw as sanctuary. Peace, freedom and the well-being of ALL people was what mattered to him.

This is not to say he was not an accomplished soldier or held an aversion to battle; he could not have already built a united land of such magnitude without it. He was very much the conqueror. Yet he was also a wise man, who saw that repression was not the way forward, and through acceptance and favouring individual choice on such important matters as religion, he was therefore able to convert those who would have perhaps rebelled against him into vehement supporters.

Such leadership was far reaching, for beyond this realm the philosophy, literature and ideas that came from within tripled with profound effect upon the rest of the world.

In some way, one could look at Cyrus as the ‘father’ of the religions we know today. He was a follower of Zoroastrianism, one of the earliest monotheist religions which not only had a significant effect on Greek and Roman philosophy, but has undeniable influence on the birth of the Judeo-Christian, Islamic and the Buddhist faiths. To the Jews, he is the only non-Jew ever decreed as being divinely-appointed by them; is hailed as a messiah in the Judeo-Christian doctrine, and stands as Cyrus the Great in the Qur’an, and also perhaps that of Dhul-Qarnayan (who may have also been Alexander the Great, the man in history Cyrus is often compared to). One man who was undoubtedly seen to unite East and West. In ancient times, your chosen God and your chosen lover were not, in the most part, a matter for intense persecution.

The incredible legacy of Cyrus remained rooted throughout the centuries of change in regime and religion (the growth of Islam in the 7th Century) that swept through the land. In 1971, the then leader, Mohammad Reza Shah, celebrated the 2500th anniversary of the Iranian monarchy, directly back to the Cyrus himself. A mere eight years later that all toppled to dust in the most irrevocable change.

Today, as always, it seems, is, utterly ridiculous that the love of a God should inspire hatred of others and thus fuel war, though once more this is due to those religious fundamentalists who believe anyone who does not follow their word strictly to the letter is wrong. And so another country mounts that dark-winged horse of repression, with a vengeance that amounts to truly making our present time the most violent in the history of humanity.

I recently caught the lyrics of a song entitled ‘Warchild’, by a young Iranian called Firouz, which draws on his own experiences to express inspiration and beauty in the most testing circumstances. In his own words “The hardest battle is the one inside of yourself and in your own life. Everybody is a war-child.”

Growing up in a small village close to the border of Iraq, Firouz was a small child when the war between the two states began and turned his world upside down. His parents began making plans for him to flee, and by the age of fourteen he finally managed to get to Europe and a freedom he felt could only be found here, and where he now aims to build his life as a musician. Many other young men like him in Iran are much less fortunate.

As a British born and bred man living here in London, one can easily forget the hardship still faced by others in less ‘enlightened’ places. Certainly, I am aware of those who suffer through disease and famine, but the plight of those who simply do not have possession of their birthright, namely liberty, reaches the news less often. The issue of slavery, undoubtedly the most shameful crime this planet carries today, is one I write about in this blog. But here now, it is love I speak of.

I embrace my sexuality, simply as part of who I am, and though I have remembrance of difficulty in younger years, when I look to what others must sometimes face, I can hardly think I ever really suffered. Upon hearing the personal history of Firouz, I thought of the incident back in 2005 in Iran when two young men were publicly hanged. Since then, there have been reports of at dozens more victims who have been executed, simply for their choice of sexual partner.

In The Islamic Republic of Iran homosexual acts have been considered a capital crime since the 1979 revolution that brought the Ayatollah Khomeini to power. Iranians found guilty of gay lovemaking are given a choice of four death styles: being hanged, stoned, halved by a sword or dropped from the highest perch. A man need only be found naked with another for charges to be made, and every action will be spied upon to bring this into place, from spying, entrapment and blackmail through to all manner of torture.

I recently also read the story of a Amir, young man who, following arrest and inquisition, was informed by a judge that a physician need only examine and so vouch that he had had a sexual experience with a man for him to face the death penalty. No evidence was proved, and so he escaped with just an ‘official’ rape by a bottle (to ensure he wouldn’t want the “real thing”), and one hundred lashes. Upon his release, life became unbearable, under constant surveillance and surprise visits by enforcers of the law day or night; eventually he fled to the tolerance and relative acceptance of Turkey.

I cannot imagine the fear held by the likes of 19 year old Mehdi Kazemi. Mehdi was a student here when, in 2005, he heard his boyfriend had been hung for engaging in sodomy. He then sought protection here in the UK, but yet again, as with the famous case of the Sudanese slave Mende Nazar, the Home Office rejected his plea for asylum on the grounds that the problem wasn’t real! He then fled to Holland, who also failed to offer him sanctuary. A return to Iran virtually guaranteed his execution, and his only hope was that the Home Secretary intervened in his case. This, the same woman who has openly stated that homosexuals are safe in Iran providing they are “discreet”. She’s wrong, of course, but even if this was the case, why should anyone be forced to hide who they are?

That the British Government deems it correct policy that we should send an innocent young man to his death simply because of his sexual orientation is horrifying. Were he an inciter of religion-fired hatred, calling out for death and destruction, he would probably be protected and living off state benefits. Thankfully, the publicity surrounding Mehdi brought him a reprieve, but he is not alone in his plight. Since the regime took over in 1979 more than 4,000 gay men and lesbians have been executed in Iran.

In this big, bad world, a gay Persian may not perhaps be much of an issue to you. But stop and think about this for a moment. In our name, ministers are deporting people to face imprisonment and even death for their sexuality. No-one I know would deem this acceptable.

From the place of where I am, I can say that, growing up, many of us will have experienced, to a lesser or greater degree, an internal conflict with what is inherent in us against what is deemed the correct moral value/social and religious standpoint. Some will have faced homophobia, slight or worse yet always insidious. But to think, as we now live our lives freely, that others, just like us, face the very real threat of torture and death just for loving another, is unbelievably shocking. Of course, Iran is not the only place where this is so, nor is it an exclusive matter to Muslim countries, though of twenty-six, seven carry the death penalty. In all, there are over eighty countries where homosexuality is explicitly condemned as criminal, and even as recently as 2006 a candidate for the U.S. Senate in Ohio was calling for the same death penalty (whilst also decrying evolution and believing that global-warming is a fantasy.).

One could wonder why sexuality – or a sexual conformity – is the focus of so much attention. Most probably because it speaks of ‘choice’, and when people exercise individual choice it appears as a challenge: the autonomy of any individual is a deeply disturbing threat to those who hold power and seek to keep it.

The religious doctrines claim homosexuality unjust, unnatural, a transgression both criminal and corrupt. Apparently. Yet both the Bible and the Qur’an actually have little to say on the issue, and the main problem the sacred texts express with regards to the people of Sodom and Gomorrah was the fact they partied to excess and didn’t respect the rules of hospitality shown to them. Ignorance, fear and the usual thirst for dominance over others is what all this is about, no decree from God/Allah. All too often, it seems, this will be carried out with the foul stench of hypocrisy; I recall a friend from Lebanon telling me of all that went on if you only scratched the surface, meaning those ‘officials’ who are openly against any activity. Compared to its neighbours, Lebanon is a liberal country, but tolerance there comes from being discreet. Indeed, no matter what gender or sexuality, for most of the Arab world, discretion is the only option when it comes to experiencing natural passion. Yet experience it they will, for prohibition of any kind never really works; those who are repressed will not, cannot remain so.

To hide, to somehow live a double life rather than feeling free to celebrate it in all its myriad colours is one thing; to face the frighteningly real threat of execution is quite something else. As I look at what is taking place, and then back to the time of Cyrus, I wonder once again if our world has ever really moved forward at all.

MAN IN THE MIRROR

(I wrote the following just under a year ago for a publication that never happened under a guise of friendship that was sadly too ephemeral. I thought it apt to put it here today.)

It is August. We still have days of warm sunshine left to bathe ourselves in, but the equinox has already past and soon the seasons will change. For millions across the world, the summer of 2009 will be indelibly marked by one day, and those that followed, full of initial shock and subsequent sorrow.

I refer to late June, and the death of a superstar. Michael Jackson.

Undoubtedly, no more has ever been written and talked about in regards to a cultural icon, and I am not about to embark on discussing his career in-depth, nor trawl through the muck-raking, conspiracies and gossip. The former is best left to those with more knowledge to make observation, and the latter holds no interest for me whatsoever. What are truths and what are lies will probably always remain blurred anyway. Society would perhaps be better looking to itself regarding why it allowed a psychologically disturbed individual to be pushed to the brink.

For yes, Michael Jackson was a deeply frail individual, and even if you knew nothing else one only needed to take a look at his face-altering over the years to see the glaring truth of that. Yes he was flawed, but true heroes always are. Personally, I’d long held a sense of pity for how he had turned out, at how troubled and tortured his existence must have often been. He was a star at six, a global celebrity just a few years later. Child stars, robbed of that most of us take for granted, invariably suffer, and he was the biggest prodigy of them all. To paraphrase the eloquence of Lemn Sissay, he died as he lived, with a thousand arrows in his chest.

However, is it not perhaps best to reflect on what a miracle it was that someone so unhappy was nonetheless able to lift and inspire across the world as he did? Certainly, one of the kinder aspects to arise from his passing is the way that, after years where scandal and ridicule were what came up in his name, there is celebration once more of the artist. Those who had not forgotten, those who had, and those that had never really known have come together and resurrected all that has come to stand as what truly gives him status as a legend of our age.

From those timeless halcyon days of The Jackson Five, and on to the birth of solo success, first with ‘Off The Wall’ and then the subsequent ground-breaking ‘Thriller’. No album changed the music business as powerfully, and the combination of Quincey Jones’s stunning production and Michael’s extraordinary talent saw him moonwalk into the stratosphere. And from there on in the music, the moves, the awe he created just grew. As the journalist and broadcaster Dan Cairns put it: “We must remember how he began and the magic he made, rather than what he became and the manner in which he departed”.

As an entertainer he cannot be denied as being truly unique and unrepeatable, a genius in his art of almost unworldly quality. There are those that burn so brightly they seem not of this Earth, and burn too fast because of it. Michael was one of those.

Despite the debate of his ever-changing personal image, and what some saw as a betrayal of his roots, it is without question that he also culturally ascended in a way that broke through barriers long after many would have said no barriers were left. And he was not unaware of this, as ‘Black & White’, and his 2002 speech in Harlem against industry racism would testify.

But, aside from the great gift of his creativity he leaves as his legacy, there is one more thing I feel is important to mention. Something all too often ignored. His philanthropy, his role as humanitarian.

“I wanted to change the world, so I got up one morning and looked in the mirror. That one looking back said: There is not much time left. The earth is wracked with pain. Children are starving. Nations remain divided by mistrust and hatred. Everywhere the air and water have been fouled almost beyond help. Do something!”

Much is written of his wild spending, the financial woes that followed, and of the millions of debt he has left behind. Equal to this is prediction of how much wealth will now be made following his death. Much less is spent discussing what he gave during his lifetime. In 1985 he co-wrote ‘We Are The World’ with Lionel Ritchie, which went on to raise $60 million going directly to the famine relief in Africa. It was in 1992, with the release of ‘Heal The World’ that Jackson started the charity organization of the same name, funding it further with all profit from The Dangerous World Tour. The ‘Heal The World Foundation’, which only added to the millions he had already personally donated, went on to airlift supplies into war-torn Sarejevo, as well as fund, wholly or substantially, over thirty other individual charities in both the US and around the world. The list of what he directly did is too long to put here, but as Ralph Waldo Emmerson put: “If just one life has breathed easier because you have lived, you have succeeded”. Many breathed easier because of Michael Jackson.

All this should be remembered. For perhaps it truly was the action of the ‘Man In The Mirror’. Perhaps in looking at his life in wake of his death we can be inspired to look beyond cynicism and see something greater, further reaching. As we listen to the music, as we try to fathom one man so unfathomable, maybe we can also take a moment to face up to our own reflection and ask what changes we ourselves can make that could make this world a better place. I would say this is an ‘Essentially Major’ question for us all.